Thursday, June 24, 2010

Rape Coverup

Shut up. Be quiet. Keep your mouth closed.

How would you feel if you were raped, violated, assaulted and ravished, and the people you love the most, the people who are supposed to protect you, told you to hush up about it?

I do not believe that the girl who was raped on a Chalan Kanoa beach last May was lying when she said she was raped; I think she is lying now. I think her father is forcing her to lie to protect a rapist and the rapist is undoubtably a relative, probably an uncle or a cousin. I suspect the father values the freedom of a rapist more than the sacred innocence of his daughter.

On June 3, days after the rape occured, the Saipan Tribune reported that, "the girl was brought to the Commonwealth Health Center where it was confirmed that she had been raped."

Were the doctors wrong? Did the doctors confuse the bruising and semen as something else?

No way.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Real Emergency or Political Ruse?

Last weekend the Fitial administration warned of payless paydays...then everyone got paid.

The week before that they threatened of more rolling blackouts...and the lights stayed on.

The only thing that changed was unchecked reprogramming authority for the governor.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Wei goes to jail; He gets off

Ben: Well, Eloy, the federals is going after criminals in Saipan.

Eloy: I know. I just read in the paper today that Wei is going to jail, too.

Ben: We is going to jail? What did we do?

Eloy: Wei got caught promoting prostitution in Garapan.

Ben: We is going to jail?

Eloy: That's right. I also read that He got off.

Ben: Who got off?

Eloy: No, He got off.

Ben: He is not going to jail?

Eloy: That's right.

Ben: So who was the arresting officer?

Eloy: Exactly.

Ben: Exactly, who?

Eloy: Hu was the arresting officer.

Ben: How should I know?

Eloy: He is not going to jail. Wei is.

Ben: Why is we going to jail? You didn't do anything and I know I didn't do anything!

Eloy: I know Yu didn't do anything. It was Wei. Wei is going to jail. Yu was on Managaha.

Ben: So we is going to jail?

Eloy: Yes.

Ben: Even though I was on Managaha?

Eloy: No, Yu was on Managaha.

Ben: That's what I just said.

Eloy: This isn't about Yu. This is about Wei. Wei is going to jail.

Ben: That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Eloy: Why Wei is going to jail?

Ben: Yes

Eloy: Wei was promoting prostitution in Garapan.

Ben: I was not promoting prostitution in Garapan.

Eloy: I know. It was Wei.

Ben: It was not me, so it must have been you.

Eloy: No Yu was on Managaha.

Ben: So it wasn't me?

Eloy: Right.

Ben: And it wasn't you.

Eloy: Correct.

Ben: If it was not me and it was not you, then why is we going to jail?

Eloy: Wei was promoting prostitution in Garapan.

Ben: So we was promoting prostitution even though I was on Managaha.

Eloy: No, Yu was on Managaha.

Ben: That's what I just said!

Eloy: Yu was on Managaha while Wei was promoting prostitution in Garapan.

Ben: How is that even possible? Who would believe that story.

Eloy: Probably

Ben: Probably who?

Eloy: Right. Hu was the arresting officer.

Ben: I don't know! I thought you knew that.

Eloy: Yu doesn't know anything.

Ben: How dare you talk to me like that? Don't forget that I'm the governor.

Eloy: Talk like what? I was just saying that Yu doesn't know Wei is going to jail.

Ben: Isn't that obvious?

Eloy: The paper says it in black and white. Wei is going to jail and He got off.

Ben: Who got off?

Eloy: No, Hu was the arresting officer.

Ben: That's what I'm trying to find out! Why was we arrested and who got off?

Eloy: Hu arrested Wei.

Ben: Never mind. Just lead me to the prison.

Monday, June 14, 2010

How to stifle public opposition to casinos

1. Hold public hearings on a Friday night.
2. Hold public hearings on payday.
3. Hold public hearings on the same night as a major island festival.
4. Try to find a date that meets all three criteria and hope no one shows up.
5. When no one shows up, issue a press release announcing "Yes to Saipan casinos."

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Saipan's List of Pedophiles

Two years ago the Department of Public Safety initiated a process to register sex offenders in the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands. Like everything the CNMI government does, the project failed. You deserve to know who are the rapists and child molesters living in your neighborhood. This is a list of newspaper articles about people who were charged or arrested for sexually abusing, molesting, raping or otherwise being horrible to children:
  1. Michael Benavente Angel - Raped a 17-year old girl three times.
  2. Joseph Aldan Arriola - Raped a 15-year old girl.
  3. Arnold Lee Kapileo Atalig - Sexually molested two boys.
  4. Jason N Ayuyu - Tinian police officer who raped a 14-year old girl.
  5. Ray Anthony Lizama Babauta - Repeatedly raped the daughter of his ex-girlfriend whenever the girl's mother was off-island.
  6. Anthony Barcinas - Repeatedly raped a 13-year old boy.
  7. Alex Kalen Borja - Sexually abused a minor.
  8. Francisco Kalen Borja - Sexually abused a minor.
  9. Geoffrey K. Cabrera - raped a 14-year old girl.
  10. Ignacio A. Cabrera - Sexually assualted an 11-year old girl.
  11. Manuel Sotto Cabrera Jr. - Raped a 14-year old girl at Tank Beach.
  12. Patrick Mendiola Calvo - Sexually assaulted a female family member.
  13. Joseph C Camacho - Attacked and gang raped a 15-year old girl.
  14. Juan Borja Camacho - Twice raped a 12-year old girl.
  15. Marcelino Carlos - Sexually abused two girls when they were 8 years old.
  16. Ivan Jones Castro - Raped and impregnated a 13-year old girl. Later attacked and gang raped a 15-year old girl.
  17. John Reyes Castro - Raped a minor.
  18. Roy Anthony Lisau Celis - Raped a 15-year old girl.
  19. Marvin DLG Conception - Sexually abused a minor
  20. Joaquin Villagomez Congo - raped and impregnated a 15-year old girl.
  21. Wilfredo Corrales - Raped a 12-year old.
  22. Milton B. Cruz - Repeatedly raped his 13-year old girlfriend with the consent of her parents.
  23. Benson D. Dela Cruz - Sexually assaulted a minor at Coral Ocean Point Beach.
  24. Melvin Dela Cruz- Repeatedly raped a minor girl, including on her 15th birthday.
  25. Nestor Garcia Dela Cruz - Sexually assaulted a female minor.
  26. Michael J. Dodd - Convicted of raping children in Cambodia after being released from prison for raping children in CNMI.
  27. Mark Thomas Doyle - Molested two 12-years old and a 13-year old boy at an Internet cafe. Offered the children money for sex and after they refused followed them into the bathroom and forced sex acts on them.
  28. Faustino Joe Elias - Repeatedly molested an underage girl.
  29. Sanito D. Estrera - Raped a 5-year old girl.
  30. Tyron Farley Reyes Fitial - Used his position of authority at the Juvenile Detention Unit in Kagman to engage in sex acts with a minor in custody.
  31. Pasqual K. Deleon Guerrero - Repeatedly raped a minor girl in 2006.
  32. Pedro Agulto Deleon Guerrero - Sexually molested a minor family member.
  33. Rodney Taimanao Deleon Guerrero - Sexually assaulted a 15-year old girl.
  34. Arnel Cunanan Gutierrez - Doused butane gas on and molested a 15-year old girl.
  35. Alfred P. Hocog - Attacked and gang raped a 15-year old girl.
  36. Jonayed Hossain - Raped and impregnated a 16-year old girl.
  37. Md. Aktar Hossain - Sexually abused a minor.
  38. Josepeh M. Inos Jr. - Raped a 17-year old intern at his government office.
  39. Shafiqul Islam - Gave a 12-year old boy $2 and then raped him.
  40. Jose Taitano Iguel - raped a 14-year old girl.
  41. Michael Anthony Jackson - Kidnapped and raped a 15-year old girl.
  42. Jose Ayuyu Javier - Twice raped a minor girl.
  43. Daniel Johnny, Jr. - Sexually abused a minor.
  44. Rex Rosokow Jose - Raped a 14-year old girl.
  45. James N. Kintaro - Offered marijuana to and then raped a 16-year old girl.
  46. Eric Lizama - Repeatedly raped a 14-year old girl.
  47. Denmar E. Malabanan - Raped a 13-year old girl.
  48. Salden S. Manuel - Sexually abused a child.
  49. Jimmy John Castro Mendiola - Repeatedly raped a 9-year old girl.
  50. Salik Aliksa Monkeya - Raped a 15-year old girl.
  51. Angel Villanueva Palacios - Sexually abused a 23-month old baby.
  52. Kirk Manalo Palacios - Raped a 14-year old girl on at least five occasions.
  53. Manuel A. Pinaula - Repeatedly raped an 11-year old and a 13-year old.
  54. Larry R. Poll - Raped a 5-year old girl.
  55. Issac William Rengiil - Sexually abused a minor.
  56. Anthony Peter Rios - Sexually abused a minor
  57. Raul Rocha - Sexually abused a 6-year old girl and a 9-year old girl.
  58. Joseph Diaz Sablan - Raped a 15-yeard old girl.
  59. Geraldine Marie Sanchez - Raped a 16-year old boy.
  60. John Sanchez - Repeatedly raped a minor female from July 2007 until he was caught in December 2009.
  61. Perlito Galang San Jose - Raped a six-year old.
  62. Ramon Camacho San Nicolas - Raped two 12-year old boys on his little league team.
  63. Henry M. San Nicholas - Abused a minor and a drug dealer.
  64. Angel Jess Santos - Kidnapped and gang-raped a 16-year old girl.
  65. Robert Kotep Shineachi - Raped two sisters. One of the girls had his baby.
  66. Collier Ng Siksei - Repeatedly raped a 10-year old girl.
  67. Walter Taitingfong - Sexually abused a minor.
  68. Norman L Tenorio - Raped a 14-year old girl.
  69. Estanislao C. Villagomez - Sexually abused two minor girls.
If you would like to add a name to this list, please leave the name in a comment along with a link to a newspaper article. Names will not be listed without proof.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Saipan's Sexiest Women - 2007

I drove back along Middle Road and came across Saipan's Sexiest Women...
You guessed it right! It was only a matter of time before we came up with a list of Saipan's Sexiest Women. Here it goes, in no particular order:

Ramona Manglona
Rebecca Warfield
Lori Demaine
Tina Sablan
Gin Gridley
Agnes McGrath
Nahal Navidar
Laurie Peterka
Jessica Jordan
Myana Welch
Sophie Chin
Kimberlyn King
Dorothy Hill
Ashem Bray
Marie Igitol
Pi Wasana
Amanda Armstrong
Aimz Weiss
Anna Glushko
Power 99's Nola
Theo Wong
Malou Mendoza
Josephine Plinske

Saipan's Sexiest Men - 2007

I took a trip down Middle Road and found this...
When we say sexy, we mean not just good physique (or not at all), for what good is the body without a heart and a brain and everything in between -- from their social relevance, charm to the way they wear their jeans? Here, then is a list of the sexiest men in our radar.

Not in particular order:

Tim Moran
Tyce Mister
Yosh Gabaldon
Jim Benedetto
Glen Hunter
Nathan Tan
Angelo Villagomez
Yoshi Suzuki
Mike Sablan
Robert Jordan
Ian Catlett
Richard Brostrom
Robert Torres
Charles Cepeda
Marcos Alonso
Russ Quinn
Mark Sullivan
Cuci Alvarez
Jessie Palacios
Eric Plinske
Nick Gross
Jonathan Grayson
Ken Pierson
Ricky Delgado
Joseph Flores
David Cohen
Absalon Waki
Chris Nelson
Andy Tidwell

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Stoner Stanley

Representative Stanley Torres' (I-Saipan) latest attempts to legalize his homegrown pot business have been thwarted by the House Natural Resources Committee and Representative Teresita Santos (I-Rota).

When asked for comment, Torres replied, "Duuuuuuuuuuude......."

Friday, June 4, 2010

Gay marriage showdown in Saipan

SAIPAN, CNMI - A Capital Hill couple who had their 2005 Sonata stolen from in front of their house on Wednesday have caught the attention of national media. Saipan resident Paul Zak and his wife Maryjoy offered a $500 reward for information leading to the return of their missing car with “no questions asked," but their attempt to get their vehicle back has resulted in some backlash from the gay community living on Saipan. The controversy has received coverage from FOX News, the National Enquirer and Grandma Little's Weekly Cookie Recipe Email Update.

The controversy began when Zak, an anti-gay marriage activist, referred to Maryjoy in an article in the local newspaper as his "wife." The gay community on Saipan reacted with outrage to his choice of words due to the fact that Maryjoy is a man. Paul and Maryjoy Zak are legally married on Saipan and live together as husband and husband.

Leaders of the gay community on Saipan are upset with Zak because of his support of anti-gay groups. Zak donated $1300 to President George W. Bush and the Republican Party in 2004 and is closely associated with disgraced former Speaker of the United States House of Representatives Tom Delay, another closet homosexual.

"Nobody would have cared if he had referred to his husband as his wife if he hadn't made our lives more difficult," said local government employee Juan Camacho Tenorio. Tenorio is gay and has lived with his partner for 15 years, but is unmarried.

paul zakOn Friday afternoon gay rights protestors lined the street in front of Winchell's Donuts in Susupe, where Zak was eating his regular breakfast of a bagel, three donuts, a blueberry muffin, a SPAM sandwich and a Diet Coke.

"Maryjoy is not his wife; she is his husband," explained gay rights activist and protest organizer Jun Villanueva. "I'm glad that jerk had his car stolen."

"Why is he trying to keep loving couples from getting married when he himself is married to another man?" asked another protestor who asked to remain anonymous.

Polishing off his second donut inside Winchell's, Zak had to say of the protest, "Look, I'm not looking to become a poster child for the gay marriage or the anti-gay marriage movement. I just want those homos to leave me alone. And I want my car back, too."

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Sarigan Burps

A submarine volcano between Sarigan and Anatahan has "burped." Who is to blame, the federal government or the Fitial administration?